Around this time of year I always seem to be more reflective than usual… and I always feel like a hypocrite. Every year, I vowed to never make New Year’s resolutions, never to start something or stop something at the first of the year. But I always find myself reflecting and promising to myself that I will make changes. It’s unconscious, really. I’ve been socialized to believe that this is what I need to do at this time. It has become a habit that is clearly difficult to break.
But I’m working on it.
I know that new comes with each sun rise, another chance to get this thing called life right. Only, there’s no huge celebration with singing and fireworks. I would like to point out that I also become very reflective and introspective during the days leading up to my birthday (which is the 9th of July if you were wondering). And I should. It is my New Year. Every day, actually, I want to be better than I was the day before (of course there are days I fall short) and my new year is a celebration of those good and bad days. It is a time that I should reflect, celebrate the successful days, evaluate the not-so-successful days, make a plan to do better and execute that plan.
Having laid this out for myself (just now), I can see the lore of the New Year’s resolution thing. But I am not one to move with the crowd, that is once I realize that is what’s going on. I believe that reflection, evaluation, planning and execution of said plan should be an ongoing process. And, yes, there should be a time to celebrate but in your individual time frame. Not one arbitrarily set by whoever started this thing stating that everyone should celebrate on this particular day. We are all on our own paths. I am on my own path. I do not have to be in accord with other people concerning individually perceived successes and failures and the celebration and/or resolution of them.
As I type this, it feels like I’m against celebrations and the general tomfoolery that comes with celebrations of this magnitude. Oh, please believe that I am not against throwing back a few, yelling over loud music, or even an occasional bar top dance number (a la Coyote Ugly).
The bottom line is that I don’t want to be a hypocrite but I do recognize my hypocrisy right now. I am a work in progress…
So, those New Year’s resolutions that I loathe?
Here are mine:
I will save money. In my defense, I planned this a while ago but with two of my favorite people celebrating their 40th birthdays within months of each other (September and December) I kind of broke the bank in attempts to make it great for the both of them. That’s just how I roll. And now I am rolling on E (empty) until January. So, you can see that things just kind of worked out to coincide with the new year, right? Right.
I will take myself on more dates. This, again, is a coincidence because… well… money. (See above explanation). This also is a continuation of what I promised myself during one of my reflective self get-your-life talks. So, I am basically picking up again after taking a break. That’s all.
I will take the steps to see my business through to fruition. There is no excuse for this. Admittedly, there is fear though. And, again, the whole money thing.
I can go on but I won’t. This is about refocusing to improve. I have my life goals, hand-written, posted on my bedroom wall. I read over them from time to time. I know what I have to do for me. I know what works… for me. I have already planned a couple of solo day trips and I am back to using my calendar and reminders for tasks to reach my goals. I have already begun to change… so are these really New Year’s resolutions or just me being me and that coinciding with the particular date of January 1st?
Oh, wait, I do have one! I want to blog more in 2016. WordPress emailed me the year in review for my blog- pitiful! I have been writing this year but I have neglected to post here. This is something I will honestly state as a New Year’s resolution: I will blog more often in 2016.
Thanks for stopping by.