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It happens

When I was a child, I would kiss my mother goodbye every morning before she left for work. She’d have to leave early to take my three-year old sister to the sitter and still make it to work on time. One morning, I got off to a late start and was still in the shower when it was time for my mom and my sister to leave. I could hear her through the bathroom door saying her goodbyes to me and to my father. A streak of anxiety traveled down through my chest to my belly. I had to hurry. My mom was leaving without kissing me goodbye. I had to rinse the soap off and get out of the shower so I could catch my mom before she left. As fast as I moved, I wasn’t fast enough. By the time I emerged from the bathroom she had left the house. I dressed in record time and bolted out of the front door after her without a word to my father. I ran down the block, past my elementary school, to the stop where she caught the bus, a block and a half away from our home, but she wasn’t there. The streets were empty. No cars driving by. No people waiting for the bus. No bus. No mom.  I stood on that bus stop, alone, crying. In that moment, I was abandoned. I was seven years old. A teacher from my school saw me and took me into the school where she called my father who came to get me.

I was always close to my mom. I needed the comfort and security she provided. Still do.

On Saturday, October 12th, my friend of 25 years, buried her mother. I can not imagine what she must be feeling.  I attended the service with my mother and my sister. It was a beautiful home going service.

But then, reality hit.

She. Buried. Her. Mother.

If she was as attached to or as close to her mother as I am, then she has become that seven-year old girl on the bus stop, alone, temporarily suffering from pangs of abandonment.

Life… happens.  Throws us curveballs. Some just get us a bit off track and some threaten to take us out of the game.

She has three children to care for. She has a job to return to. But…. life happened.

When things like this happen close to me, all of the things that I find myself fretting over seem way too trivial.

I missed a few check-ins.

I missed a few days of writing.

I missed a few days of jogging.

But, all of this seems trivial.

I pray for my friend, for her mother, and for all of her family.


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