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Another round

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I was not sure if I would participate this round. There is so much going on in my life that continuously thwarts my creativity that participating in this challenge would be… well, a challenge.

I am also tired. Tired of setting goals and not meeting them. Tired of allowing everything around me become more important than my own finish line. Sometimes other people’s finish lines become more important than my own. How does that happen? When I read others’ posts about reaching their 5000 word per day goal, I get a little sidetracked, comparing myself to those 5000 worders. I wonder how they can produce so many words in one day. Where does the time and energy come from? I have a full-time job, a husband, children, extended family, friends… Where do these people find the time, energy, and creative juice to produce? I would end up discouraging myself after a while and just stop trying. With a hectic daily life and comparisons to the 5000 worders, well, who needs this stinkin’ challenge?

Me.

And sometimes I think Kate writes her posts just for me. Today was one of those times. Kate’s post today was exactly what I needed. Most times, we know what we need to do for ourselves but just need to hear it from someone else. Thank you Kate. I know I should not be comparing myself to anyone else, that I should be focusing on the best me I can be, but I needed to be reminded is all. I needed to be encouraged is all.  I needed to believe again.

So, I’m joining you all once again in this quest to challenge myself.

Here are my goals for this round:

Write.

Write everyday.

Write for, at least, 30 uninterrupted minutes. Everyday.

I think word counts are intimidating. It has taken me several rounds to come to this conclusion. This is progress.

There are a couple of areas I would like to focus on: my blog, my poetry, and my D. Church story. So I will alternate. I will not assign days or hours or word counts to my writing.

I will simply write. (Simply write? Riiight.)

I need to be a better me. So, I will be a better me. I recognize my fear: endings.

I will write. I will finish.

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4 thoughts on “Another round

  1. I can hear in this post how tired and…perhaps dejected?…you feel. I applaud you for not giving up. For deciding to try and try again. For acting on your hunch that 30 minutes is a better goal for you than a particular word count. And I can completely relate to the reality that “simply write” is anything but simple. I’m great at psyching myself out, how about you?

    Question: when you think about writing for 30 minutes, are you okay with writing absolute crap for 30 minutes, or do you expect it to be 30 minutes of “good” writing every day?

    What if it’s nothing that you’d ever want other people to read? Does that count?

    What if it’s not a poem or a blog post or part of your story that comes out of your writing time but instead a memory from your childhood? Does that count?

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    • Hi Sione. Thank you for stopping by…
      I do live in a fantasy world sometimes but not one where I believe every 30 minute writing session will produce words of gold. (Ha!) If I do not produce anything that I can use during that time, I will at least get into the habit of writing every day. So, yes, crap will count. This, for me, is about creating a habit as well as practicing the skill of writing, and hopefully my output will become less and less crappy. Most times, even if I just write down a memory I will use it later in a blog post. One of my fears, though, is sharing so I will probably keep the post private. My goal is a better me, so as long as I know I’m focusing on me and improving my writing I think whatever I do during that time will be fine.

      Great questions, by the way. I do appreciate your time.
      Thanks again.

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      • Yes, yes, and yes. I really want to adopt your attitude toward the writing. I want to give myself a pat on the back for making the effort, even if what I produce is crap. I have noticed, in the times I can get myself to write regularly, that: (a) the more I write, the more I want to write; and (b) not very much of what I write is actually crappy, even if it feels like crap as I’m writing. So my experience supports your hypothesis.

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