Home » Uncategorized » This post should be a journal entry…

This post should be a journal entry…

I did not expect for the dam to break this way. We never do. My friend of 20 years was murdered a few hours ago and it just seems absolutely unbelievable. I am struggling for words yet the urge to write is too strong not to force out  even a few words through teary eyes, gritted teeth, cloudy mind…
Really?
I am reduced to a one word question that holds so much more than its six letters. What do I do with this raw emotion that I do not want to experience, ever?

I think of his mother. I cannot imagine her pain. And I never, ever want to feel it. I will pray for her strength. She will need it.

I think of my friend who, at 15 was like a brother to me, welcomed me into his family. And twenty years later our families are entertwined. I am really at a loss for words.
Really?

I think of my friend, who recently married, who recently fulfilled his dream of owning a restuarant, who recently celebrated his baby girl’s birthday.
A little girl lost her dad today. She’s his only child. Truly daddy’s little girl. All of us daddy’s little girls can feel the implications here.
A recent bride lost her husband. When I heard the news, I immediately shared it with my husband. I cannot imagine my best friend no longer being a phone call away.
A mother lost her son today. I have one child. A son. I cannot and will imagine if I were a mother less her child. That group is growing and I do not wish to become a part of it.

Today, a 34 year old man was robbed of his hard earned money and robbed of his well lived life.

This makes me sick to my stomach.

Really?

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4 thoughts on “This post should be a journal entry…

  1. So sorry to hear of your loss. And a beautiful post and eulogy to honour your friend’s memory, That word “Really” is so expressive.

    BTW – thx for comment on my blog too – I left a reply there.

    Like

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