Today marks the last day of my 34th year.
Tomorrow, July 9th, is my 35th birthday! I plan to do so many things differently starting tomorrow. Of course, personal change does not literally happen over night but I gave myself until my birthday to get my mind right in order to begin putting action to my goals.
I become reflective and very sentimental around my birthday. Sometimes, sickeningly so. But this year, I give myself a pass. My friend, Paul, and I share a birthday. Paul died last year. August 9th. This year, I reflect on my life from the perspective of a person who has lost a friend.
I have regrets.
We think we have time. We place emphasis on trivial things. And then, suddenly, time is up. We have regrets.
Well, I do. Unfortunately.
I try to find the lesson in all of my experiences, especially the particularly difficult situations, to help me to heal and to grow. From Paul’s passing I learned that I need to live while I still have time. Not just merely exist. Not live in fear but truly live. Enjoy life and be the best me that I can be. It does not happen over night. It takes some time to break out of old habits.
So, I am living.
I wrote a birthday wish list of simple pleasures. Nine of them.
9. A handmade card- My dad used to make me cards because, he said, the time and love put into it gave it more meaning
8. A flower- I love Calla Lillies! They are so beautiful!
7. A home baked cake- yellow cake with chocolate icing… Mmmmmm
6. A song- I love music. Having music just for me would be awesome! Even if its just a few lines, my smile would be SO big!
5. A book- I love to read and I love to write so a novel or a journal would be awesome!
4. A toast- add me in the dinner toast with your family or come visit and we’ll toast to another year
3. A photo- I’ve known a lot of people for many years. I’m sure there are pictures out there of memorable times. Send me a copy or let’s take pictures together now.
2. A hug- Hugs are great. And they don’t cost a bit. They help squeeze the “blue” out or intensify the glee if that’s my mood.
1. A prayer for Paul.
Finally, here’s my update:
While I have not written every day, I am still averaging 250 words per day. I’m still working hard to write everyday though.