March 23, 2012
Twenty-one years roll around fast from the vantage point of a, once, teenaged mom. Just thirteen when I made a life decision for us both. Barely able to truly comprehend the world, with very little life experience, I chose for us. I knew life would be difficult at times, although I could not fathom the degree of difficulty, I chose for us. I felt you growing inside of me and no doctor had to tell me what I already knew: that I would give birth to a baby boy. The connection was there and I just knew. I didn’t hope or wish or pray- I knew that I would give birth to a son. I also knew the challenges that a young Black man in America would face and I pulled determination, from the strength of countless mothers before me, to fuel my efforts to give you the tools to navigate this thing called life.
At thirteen, I wanted the very best for you and would expect the very best from you. In my heart, there had to be a reason that my preemie and I survived, both emerging from the process of childbirth virtually unscathed. In my heart, you were sent here to be great and I had to make sure of that. That was my task, my repayment for you saving my life. In reality though, I had to learn that I could not complete this task alone and I am grateful for the support you and I have been blessed with during our period of growth together. There have been growing pains and we both stumbled along the way but we are still standing.
I love you, baby, more than words can truly express. But sometimes other peoples’ words come close. There are a few songs that get me choked up because when I hear them I think about you and I: Zion by Lauren Hill- “…and I thank you for choosing me, to come through unto life to be, a beautiful reflection of his grace, see I know that a gift great is only one that God could create and I’m reminded every time I see your face…” and As by Stevie Wonder- “…now as today I know I’m living but tomorrow could make me the past but that I must’n’t fear for I know deep in my mind the love of me I left behind cause I’ll be loving you always…”
You are the best of me. I am so proud of you, son. You have grown into a fine young man (and not just your physical appearance, Mr. Vain!). Continue to grow. Continue to learn. Continue to refine and redefine yourself. Continue to be the best Dom you can be.
At each transition in life, I lose a little responsibility for you and you gain more of it. While this is not the end of our journey together it is in fact another transition. The training wheels are off, son. You’ll be fine though. You know that I’ll always have your back. Go, be great…. and give me one more “..top o’ the world, ma!” for safe keeping.
Thank you for choosing me. I am proud to say I am the mother of Domineek T. Owens.